Coping Questions and Tips

Ask your coping question or post your coping tip here. Find out what others have said about coping skills including sleep, goal setting, and general topics.

I’m looking for a specific meditation recording: stripping away everything leaving you with your spirit

by Julie Longfellow
(San Jose, CA, USA)


I participated in a wonderful retreat when I was living in Ireland in 2001.

I don’t know the name of the meditation but it was a woman’s voice (non European) and the meditation led the group slowly through a series of stripping away everything: your material possessions, your friends, your family, your religious, political, scientific, social, economic beliefs – everything, even your physical presence – leaving you with just your essence – your spirit.

It was one of the best meditation exercises I’ve ever experienced and I am leading a retreat this Thanksgiving (back home in the States) and I would like to use this same meditation exercise.

Can you tell me if you are familiar with it? Where I could purchase/download it?

Any help you could provide would be greatly appreciated.

I’m also interested in your suggestions for short (under 5 minutes) meditations for women as an alternate to the one I am looking for.

Thank you,

Julie Longfellow

Hi Julie,

I’m not familiar with the script you describe, but I’ll post your question here in case anyone else may be able to help.

If anyone knows where to find a script like this, please post your comments here!


P.S. Some good short meditation exercises are body scan, focusing on breathing, and awareness of mind and body. You can adapt these techniques to be anywhere from one minute to several minutes.


Question: I was wondering if you could provide coping techniques for people who suffer from relationship OCD things that are normal and elaborate on what rocd is and how not to give into rocd anxiety.

Answer:Hello! I’m not familiar with relationship OCD. I imagine that the techniques for coping are similar to the usual techniques for coping with anxiety, obsessions, and compulsions. Here are some resources that may help:

Overcoming Anxiety

Relaxation for Obsessive Thoughts

Overcoming Shyness

Relaxation for Positive Self Image

Are Health and Medical Problems Related to Stress and Anxiety?

by Amanda
(United states)

I am 21 years old and the last years i have been really stressed about things in my life. My doc told me i am depressed and i have anxiety. I am having health problems for instance i cant have a normal life because i always have to use the bathroom my “poop” is yellow and always runny, and i want to know if stress and anxiety causes this also i want help finding a ways to not let things get to me or make me feel overwhelmed so i can have a normal life. please help me

Health problems are so frustrating. Stress and anxiety can worsen existing problems, even if the problems have other causes. I cannot say whether stress or anxiety could be the cause of your health problems, but certainly they can contribute to the symptoms.

It is important to have a medical evaluation to determine if stress or anxiety are causing medical problems or if other causes are present. It is also important to reduce anxiety and stress as much as possible because this will help your body heal and keep from worsening existing medical conditions.

I recommend you seek support for dealing with this. It makes such a difference to talk through what you are dealing with. You could seek out a counselor, clergy or spiritual support person, therapist, support group…there are many options available. If you aren’t sure where to start, ask your medical doctor. Your doctor may be able to recommend someone or refer you to a mental health professional. You can also check out local mental health clinics, churches, and medical centres to find mental health support.

Know that you are not alone in dealing with medical problems, depression, and anxiety. Many others are going through or have been through these types of challenges. You can get through it! The fact that you posted here shows that you are looking for answers and taking charge of your own health. Keep it up and I am confident you will make positive changes and begin feeling better.

Fear of Intimacy

I have a fear of opening up to people even my family. I have heard it described as fear of loving someone and being loved. That sounds about right. Advice? Thanks.

I suspect that it is not so much a fear of being loved as it is a fear that if you do love someone or they love you, something bad will happen.

Those who have a fear of intimacy are afraid of things like:

– rejection

– losing someone they get close to

– being hurt

These fears are a result of negative underlying beliefs. For example, maybe you can relate to some of these:

“If I get close to people, I will get hurt.”

“If people get close to me, I’ll just end up hurting them.”

“If they knew who I really am, they would reject me.”

“All relationships break up.”

“It would be a terrible thing if that person rejected me.”

“It is weak to rely on others, so I only rely on myself.”

“No one could ever like me for who I am.”

“This relationship will be just like that one from my past.”

“It’s safer to never get close to anyone.”

You may relate to some of these and probably have some other beliefs, too, that lead to the idea that intimacy is somehow not a good idea. The fact that you asked this question suggests that you want to overcome the fear of intimacy so you can enjoy closer relationships, but at the same time you’re not sure how, and not convinced that you really do want to be close to others.

The best way to overcome fear of intimacy is to challenge your underlying beliefs. Select one belief, and ask yourself some questions to be as objective as possible:

– Is this the only way of looking at the situation?

– What is the evidence for and the evidence against this belief? Which list is more compelling?

– How can I test my belief to see if it is true?

For example, if you believe “I can’t stand being rejected,” set up a situation where you can actually practice being rejected to prove to yourself that it is not so scary. David Burns calls these “shame attacking exercises.” You could go out in public and ask every person who passes by, “would you like to join me for dinner?” Most people are likely to say no – rejection – and you will have the opportunity to find out that you CAN stand rejection after all. You can use experiments like these to test a variety of fears.

Will I really die of embarrassment if X Y or Z happens? Would A B or C really be a terrible thing? Try it to find out.

We all have some thinking that could be improved!

Best wishes,


Going Against the Tide

I am a very fast person and suffer from anxiety. I need to slow down.

For example, I have used some slow breathing exercises to slow down my resting breathing rate which was a 28-30 breaths a minute now it is about 18 breaths per minute and I read somewhere it should be about 10 breaths per minute.
However, I feel that culture that I live in (I work in a business in Northeast USA) is very faced paced.

For people that are anxious and hyperactive I think we have to a culture that says be fast and that to be caffeinated is good.

Return to Advice – coping.

The music in your “floating on a cloud” video…

by Dave
(Flemington, NJ)

Good day,

I am wondering about the music on the above named video. I was able to identify the composer as Tony McVann, I believe, but the only version/source I have found has lots of birds chirping in it…too distracting over the lovely piano. Is there a different version available that you could point me to?

Wonderful work you are doing here.

Sincerest thanks,

David Eisenhardt
Flemington, NJ


I have made two versions of the “Floating on a Cloud” video, each with different music, but the music for both videos comes from Royalty free music from Kevin MacLeod,

In the first video, “Guided Imagery Relaxation Script: Floating on a Cloud,” the piece titles are Midsummer Sky, Sapphire Isle, Serene, and Daybreak. The second video is called “Floating on a Cloud Relaxation with Calm Music,” and the piece title is Almost in F.

I highly recommend Kevin MacLeod’s music. There is a variety of royalty free music to choose from and the music is of high quality. Many of my videos and audio feature music from his site.



Changing my mindset so I look forward to leaving the house


I don’t believe that I have agoraphobia. I’m not afraid to leave the house. However, I find that I experience running errands, shopping, going to meetings, doctor’s appointments, even entertainment outings, as more of a burden and a nuisance than a fun thing to do—or just something that has to be done.

I thoroughly dislike having to interrupt my day, get ready to go, gather all the stuff that I need to take with me, etc., to do those busy-work things that I need to do in order to make my life healthier, more fulfilling and fun.

I can’t seem to do more than one thing a day. I can’t go to an early morning meeting and then come home to do something creative. And, if I want to do something creative, I have trouble getting starting because I dread the meeting I have at 1:00 p.m.

It’s not as though I’m writing the great American novel and can’t afford to get interrupted but I dread these disruptions and have to virtually force myself to go to them. I like staying home way too much.

I need to change my outlook – from curbstone to Labrador retriever. I have places to go and people to see; so I can hardly sit in my house and not take of my life and other things. If you could see a way to make me improve my outlook so that I can stop dreading events/trips that shouldn’t be dreaded (nothing major, just such things that I listed above) that would be a life-changing experience for me.

Thank you for your help.


The best way to change your mindset is to change the thoughts that go along with leaving the house. If the negative thoughts can be re-framed into positive ones, you will be able to talk yourself into going instead of talking yourself into staying home. Here are some ways to make these changes:

1) Cost-Benefit Analysis

It is not easy to make changes, because there are good reasons to keep on doing things the same way. Perhaps there are disadvantages to leaving the house, and advantages to not leaving the house, that need to be considered. When you compare the pros and cons of changing, you can decide if it is worth making these changes—and you can be aware of what might get in the way when you do work on changing. Read more about the cost-benefit analysis in David Burns’ book, “Feeling Good.”

2) Re-framing thoughts

Examine the thoughts that come up when you think about leaving the house. You may find that you are telling yourself things that talk you out of going. It can be helpful to write down the thoughts that go through your mind when you are dreading a task.

For example, you may say, “I don’t feel like going. I would rather stay home.” This could be re-framed as, “I know I’ll be glad I went.”

Or you might say, “Ugh, I just dread going to pay bills.” Instead, you could tell yourself, “I’m looking forward to having the bills paid. I’ll reward myself by going for coffee as soon as I’m done.”

Perhaps you say, “I should enjoy this outing. It should be fun. Something must be wrong with me.” Instead, try “Right now I’m not looking forward to this afternoon’s outing, but I think it will turn out to be fun.”

3) Affirmations

Come up with some positive, encouraging statements. Phrase the statements as if they are already true, and repeat them to yourself often. Examples of affirmations:

“I can do many productive things in one day.”

“I like getting out of the house.”

“I look forward to doing ______.”

4) Scheduling

A routine can make tasks easier to do. You might try making a schedule for yourself that includes the following every day:

– something productive

– something to look forward to

– physical activity

– relaxation

– something fun

It is most effective to keep scheduled activities to a minimum, and not try to schedule every hour of the day. Try to plan easy, relaxing, rewarding activities after the ones that are more difficult.

Scheduling something active at the same time each day (a walk, an appointment, or lunch with a friend, for example) can make it easier to get used to following through with these types of activities. Ideally, try to keep a schedule with a few consistent things, including: getting up at the same time each day and performing self-care routines, going to bed at the same time, and having active time scheduled at the same time daily.

Such a routine helps to decrease the preparation time needed to get out and do things (necessary supplies or materials are already gathered in one place). Outings feel less like an interruption, and fit more within the flow of your day.

You may also find it helpful to minimize interruptions by trying to alternate days, when possible, so that the “productive” things fall on one day, and the “creative” things occur on the next day. Then you do not need to interrupt your creativity to go to an appointment, or feel distracted by an upcoming errand when you’re trying to be creative.

5) Pleasure Predicting

Before doing an activity, predict how much you will enjoy it, from zero (not at all) to 100 (completely). Then after the activity, rate how enjoyable it actually was. This can help put things in perspective.

Let’s say you have an outing scheduled. It could be shopping, errands, an appointment, entertainment…anything, really. Before doing the activity, write down the name of the activity and your predicted enjoyment. For this example, imagine hat you’re dreading the activity, and predict that you will not enjoy it much, say 20%. Afterward, you may discover that you actually enjoyed the activity quite a bit, maybe 65%. The next time you do the activity, you probably will not dread it as much. You can read more about this technique in David Burns’ book, “Feeling Good.”

When Changing is Difficult

Changing is hard! You might find that some of the negative thoughts are very persistent. You may try the techniques above and still dread getting out of the house. Further cognitive (thinking) techniques can be very helpful for changing your mindset. The book “Feeling Good” by David Burns, describes how to assess, monitor, and change your thinking. The chapter on overcoming procrastination would be especially helpful, because it helps to change the mindset that keeps us from doing activities.

The fact that you want to look forward to doing events and trips suggests that you will be successful in changing your outlook. The desire to change is probably the most important ingredient to changing successfully.

Good luck!

Public Speaking Anxiety

by vaijnath

When i am in fear (fear to speak before people) my face muscles being tight, specially upper lips muscles, and then I can not speak. Please help me and suggest a remedy for my fear of public speaking.

Public speaking anxiety is very common. Most people have at least a little fear of public speaking. For many of us, public speaking is terrifying and very uncomfortable.

Symptoms of public speaking anxiety include those you mentioned (tight face muscles and lips, difficulty with speech) and other anxiety symptoms such as perspiration, nausea, stuttering, and shaking.

It is possible to get rid of public speaking anxiety – but the only way to do this is by facing your fear. You won’t get rid of public speaking anxiety without practice speaking in public and going through a degree of anxiety and discomfort.

I recommend using guided imagery to practice facing your fear of public speaking in your mind, to mentally overcome your fear (see below). Then, practice in real life, starting with small steps. For example, start by saying hi to a stranger or commenting on the weather. Tell a story to a small group of friends. Work up to more challenging situations such as asking a question in a group. Eventually face your fear of public speaking head on by giving a speech or a presentation.

It’s okay to experience anxiety and be afraid when faced with public speaking, but when you face the fear and speak in public anyway, you will prove to yourself that the fear was not needed and that you are capable.

This public speaking visualization is a guided imagery script uses visualization to allow you to imagine yourself calmly and successfully speaking in public. Practice often for best results.

Best wishes, and remember…you can do it!

Birthing Script

by Nina

Any scripts on Birthing Anxiety for pregnant moms in labor?

I don’t have any specific scripts for childbirth yet, but do plan on adding some in the future. Currently, there is a “Relaxation for Expecting Mothers” album that offers the tracks listed below.

The album is available in my Relaxation and Self-Help Store.

I hope this helps!

Anchoring “Anchoring” is an effective way to train your body to quickly relax by making an association in your brain between a state of relaxation and touching a specific spot on your hand or wrist. This technique allows you to relax instantly by touching your hand or wrist once the “anchor” becomes a conditioned response.

Peaceful Place This script will allow you to relax your mind and imagine your own safe, peaceful place. This place will be an imaginary area that you can visualize to help calm and relax your mind when you are feeling stressed.

Relaxation During Pregnancy Relaxation during pregnancy is safe and effective for reducing stress, feeling calm, and increasing physical and mental comfort. Use relaxation techniques to get rid of nausea, headaches, and minor pain without taking medications.

Disappointed customer

I was given the Inner Health studio, Guided Relaxation Scripts cd as a gift. I can not even listen to it on a cd player. Only through the computer. How am I supposed to relax if I cant even play it while taking a bath. I told my mother who bought me the cd and she agrees. I will not be using your product in the future since it defeats the entire purpose to relax. I am more stressed out trying to play this stupid cd.

I’m sorry to hear that the CD does not play on your player. Some older CD players do not play this type of CD, which is made by Createspace (owned by Amazon). I do not burn the CDs myself, so unfortunately I am not able to offer you a different format of CD.

Please contact me via the contact form on my site or by email and I will arrange to provide a refund.

If your CD player is not more than 10 years old, perhaps the CD itself has a defect. If this is the case, please let me know and I will exchange the CD and contact Createspace to ensure that future CDs do not have this same problem.

Thank you for letting me know there is a problem with playing the CD, and sorry for the frustration.




by nan
(Prineville, or.)

Question: I am 63 yr/woman, raising 4 kids – do not have time/energy/place to relax. Live in COLD country – raised in WARM country. I’m ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, STRESSED, TIRED, NO INSURANCE, STUCK!!!!!!! How to deal with this??? What would you suggest.

Answer:I can imagine you must be feeling very stressed. It is hard to cope when you are stretched to your limit and feel like you’re out of options. The best advice I can give you is to try to decrease some of the pressure by trying some of these stress-busters:

1) Get support – It is impossible to do everything alone, and it sounds like you are facing a number of demands and pressures. Help from others can relieve stress as you share the load with people who can help. Possible sources of support may include Church groups, peer support networks, newcomer’s clubs, woman’s groups, cultural associations, etc. Support may include hands-on help (for example, taking turns watching kids, or cooking a meal together) or emotional support.

2) Take care of yourself – Do one little thing each day that makes you feel good. Is there a kind of music that helps lift your mood? Play that music while you do a chore to help make the task more enjoyable. Do you have a favorite outfit? Dress up, even just to do chores around the house. Find small ways like these to treat yourself.

3) Use quick relaxation techniques a few times each day. Keep relaxation sessions short (5 minutes or less) so relaxation does not become one more task to fit into an already busy schedule. For example, stop what you are doing to take a 3-minute stretching break, do 1 minute of deep breathing, or a 2-minute progressive muscle relaxation exercise.

I hope that you are able to experience some relief soon.


Depression – Over Life

Hi, I am a 27 y.o. woman who is having trouble dealing with life. I had to let go of a past love, whom I thought would be the one for me forever. I have lost all my friends because I believe in Jesus, and I am going to be living alone for the first time ever. I know I have to grow up, and I know I have to deal with my issues. Its just been hard, and when I think of my ex not wanting to be with me, I feel less than I am and very low self-esteem as well as a depressed feeling. Its ironic because I am beautiful and have a nice body, and most guys always fall in love with me. All that doesn’t matter and sometimes I want to just go into a dark room and stay there. Anyway, I deal with life and also not knowing what I want to do in my life. Any tips?

It sounds like you are feeling really alone. It is hard to deal with the grief of a relationship that has come to an end, and this is compounded by losing your friends as well.

You are not alone in your experience – many people are faced with feelings of self-doubt in situations like this. You’re right about the irony in the situation. The fact that someone who is deserving of self-esteem and happiness is feeling depressed and lacking self-esteem is ironic. The negative thoughts are not at all true, but you are thinking and feeling as if they are.

Despite the sadness and grief you are going through, it sounds like on some level you know that you are far more worthwhile than you have been feeling lately.

There is a difference between knowing intellectually that you are beautiful and valuable, and believing on a gut level that these things are true.

There are ways of changing the negative beliefs that lead to depressed feelings. Here are a few I suggest:

1. Strength through faith. You mentioned that you lost your friends because you believe in Jesus. How hurtful this must be! Jesus understands this completely: he was rejected and betrayed by friends, too. Your belief can be a source of strength and comfort as you go through this. Do you have any friends or acquaintances who also believe? If so, perhaps they can help you realize how valuable and important you are. If you do not know anyone else who believes, you may find it helpful to connect with a group such as a Bible study or church, where you can meet like-minded people and receive encouragement.

You may be interested in these videos on Christian life coaching and stress management.

2. Changing the content of thoughts. A variety of techniques are available to change thoughts, such as:

– write down the negative thoughts, and evaluate how realistic they are

– determine if there might be another way to look at the situation

– ask yourself what you would say to a friend who is just like you

For example, maybe you have had some negative thoughts such as, “My boyfriend doesn’t want to be with me because I’m not good enough. I’ll be alone forever.”

Would you tell a dear friend, “your boyfriend doesn’t want to be with you because you’re not good enough. You will be alone forever”?

What would you say to a dear friend who was just like you?

Write down the things you would say to a friend.

If your response is true and realistic for a friend, it is also true for you. Remind yourself of the new, more realistic thoughts you came up with.

3. Changing beliefs. The negative thoughts and beliefs that are making you feel down and depressed are lies, not reality. You can change these beliefs through techniques such as:

– prayer (see below)

– talking back to the negative thoughts by replacing them with more realistic thoughts

– examine the evidence for the negative beliefs and for the positive beliefs to evaluate which ones are actually true

There are over 50 different techniques for changing thoughts and beliefs. Usually around 15 different techniques are required to effectively change beliefs. This means that you will need to try a number of techniques like the ones listed above – the first technique you try is not likely change your beliefs completely. Neither is the second one, or the third…but if you use a variety of techniques to create new habits of thinking, you can effectively change your beliefs. In turn, you will change your feelings and your mood.

I recommend the books, “10 Days to Self-Esteem” and “the Feeling Good Handbook” by David Burns. These books walk you through the techniques and skills needed to turn around a negative outlook and depressed mood, and appreciate yourself for who you really are.

You may find the following prayer relevant for your situation.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I know that you understand my sadness and care deeply about me and every aspect of my life.

I thank you for being with me, and I take comfort knowing that I am not alone.

I am aware that the negative things I have been thinking about myself are lies, and that these lies are not from you. Psalm 139 says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I know that this is true.

I ask that you remove the lies that have been put upon my mind, and you replace them with your truth: that I am loved, that I am valuable, that I am worthwhile, and that you have plans for me that include wonderful things.

I accept your truth, and ask that you help me to see myself as you see me; as a wonderful, valuable, precious human being. Your truth conquers all lies.

Thank you for your truth.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

I hope this helps!



Guided Visualization during chemotherapy

Fantastic website and thank you so much for sharing all of this precious information with the world…I was wondering if you had written a specific script to help with stress/anxiety of the chemotherapy process?


Hello Nicola,

I’m glad you like the site – thank you.

I do not have a specific script for dealing with chemotherapy, but I can write one. Do you have any suggestions for what to include in the script? Are there particular worries or difficulties associated with going through chemotherapy?


Don’t Know Where to Start

I am not sure why I am sending this to you, or even if will arrive in one piece, but perhaps it will help someone else, or help you to help others. Thanks for your podcasts, they have been so so helpful. I guess I am asking for help because that’s definitely what I need. I wrote this passage below to a friend:

I ‘m not sure how this will come out, but I’ll do what i can to write it down, to help me break free if this cycle. I have let things take a turn for the worse and am not sure I have the strength to fight it. I’ll start with work.

I have been carrying on, doing what I do, over the last 3 months. I have recently and suddenly moved departments, as the project I was on ran out of budget and people have been assigned to other things or laid off. I am now working for another engineer, who has given me some very mundane work to do, suitable for a graduate.

I went to our Christmas Party on Thursday, which was at a pub for the afternoon with everyone present (about 300 people). Booked the pub out. While there I spoke to an old friend who I haven’t seen in a long time, who is a senior staff member. For some reason, I had a ‘moment of clarity’. I could kind of tune in to his cryptic messages he was laying into his sentences…I know that sounds like paranoia central but stick with me. He pretty much told me that I am not favoured at all at the moment and alot of the problems i have had hasn’t gone unnoticed. He called me a ‘boy in a bubble’, said people were waiting and waiting for something, anything to happen, but all they got was excuse after excuse about why this that or the other hasn’t been done….and this has gone down very badly. My girlfriend was there so I told her what I thought, she heard pretty much the same message. She hasn’t denied this as nonsense or all in my head.

I spoke to other people after that. Or rather I listened to what people had to say, and I allowed them to say anything they liked. I heard plenty of phrases like ‘that’s not what an engineer would say’ ‘we have to give people a chance’ ‘negative, negative, negative’ ‘we need young people to take over for us guys so you do what you can’ and ‘weird principal structural engineers’. there is obviously an advanced copy of the staff review for senior members, which my friend has seen.

I think the only time I tried to say something in reply saying I used to work hard but don’t anymore was met by a turned back. This has left me with a spinning head, a defeated attitude, and not much hope. I believe all of this to be true and it rings true from what my actions over the last 9 months. And on that night I felt like I had a rude awakening.

The thing is I am a boy in a bubble. I find it incredibly and unnaturally difficult to make a decision. On anything. I also find it incredibly difficult to express any true feeling or emotion, or preference. I have withdrawn so much that even simple tasks are too hard to manage, like Christmas presents, and I have given up trying.

I fell like I had given up along time ago and now it is finally coming to a head, and I have had my head in the sand all this time (ten years). I cannot function at work anymore, even the graduate work I have been given is sloppy and not suitable, but will do. I cannot sustain this level and deal with my future at the same time. I think that in my review I will be slammed for my inability to do anything, which shines in stark contrast to the salary I am being paid. I was trophied as someone who was one of the best, and now have been shown as a fraud, slimy, suck up, who is good for nothing. The truth hurts. the truth is I allowed people to think I am good, by doing nothing. I allowed people to promote me and said nothing. all I ever did was cover over those crack with some sort of words and no-one challenged it.

The reality is that’s all I do. I think that’s all I have ever done to a degree. And now I think I am going to lose my job, then lose my career, lose my flat, lose my health, lose my girlfriend. And I cant do anything about it. I am trying my best to pull in some support where I can, but ultimately, I should be able to do something, and I can’t, I am paralyzed by it all. And as I am writing this, I should be taking it all in, writing this to myself, but I cant feel it registering within me.

there is something in my frame of mind that prefers no action to action. It is as if any wrong action, in anyone’s eyes is much much worse than no action at all. Its as if by admitting there’s a problem is admitting to myself I am flawed, so I do nothing. This situation can only last so long, and work is the first sign of the problem. In an odd sort of way my mind is relieved, partly because the truth is out, and partly because I don’t have to do anything about it…I cant work out why I am being so lazy or inactive.

I don’t know where to start, but I need to start somewhere fast as money is going to be the next major unsustainable problem, followed by my health. I don’t know why I cant do anything, except suffer the consequences. If I could manipulate the world around me I could at least feel like I am doing something. The truth is I cannot even manipulate the thoughts in my own mind in order to make myself feel better, in order to do something. I have given up completely, and the negative thoughts have won, as I am not even present to tackle them.

I hope that this will let me get back to sleep, and maybe even help me get somewhere. But I think that as tomorrow surfaces I will get swept up in the day and get carried along as usual.


Is there anything you can say to help me deal with my eating disorder?

I don’t know if there is anything I can say that would be helpful, but I can share with you some ways that I have seen people successfully overcome anorexia and other eating disorders. I hope that at least a part of this might be relevant for you.

I can imagine that you might be hurting, or struggling, or feeling alone. The fact that you posted your question here suggests that you’re looking for some answers, and trying to find new ways to cope. This sort of information gathering is an important first step in recovery.

Dealing with an eating disorder is challenging because the illness involves factors that are deeper than simply eating. For example, identity, self-image, sense of autonomy, self-esteem, self-talk, thinking patterns, or other factors.

Despite this complexity, many people have found success in overcoming disordered eating. Some things to consider:

– You do not have to deal with this alone. Disordered eating can be a very isolating illness. Secrecy, shame, and anxiety often leave people with eating disorders feeling distant from others and misunderstood. Connecting with others can help to change this isolation. Therapists, support groups (online or face-to-face), friends, and family are possible sources of social connections and support.

– Keep finding information. The more you learn about anorexia and disordered eating behavior, the better equipped you are to know what to expect and what strategies to try. So many people have been where you are, you can benefit from their trial-and-error and use the most effective techniques for recovery. You can find information by doing research on the internet (remember that not all websites offer accurate, credible information), reading books, or by speaking with a professional such as a psychiatrist, a therapist, or a disordered eating specialist.

– Because overcoming an eating disorder requires significant changes in beliefs and thinking patterns, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be helpful. Many CBT techniques can be used independently with the guidance of a self-help book, such as “Feeling Good,” by David Burns, or “Life Without Ed,” by Jenni Schaefer. It can also be helpful to work with a therapist to learn and practice CBT techniques.

– Part of you wants to recover, and part of you wants to remain ill. This is normal. It’s okay if part of you does not want to give up disordered eating. You can still get well and make changes when you listen to (and strengthen) the part of you that does want to get well. “Changing For Good,” by James N Prochaska, is an excellent book about change and overcoming addictive behaviors. Disordered eating is considered by many to be an addictive behavior.

– If you have decided that you want to give up the eating disorder, but do not know how, a treatment program specifically for eating disorders can be very helpful. Treatment programs provide structure, routine, support, and guidance to help people with disordered eating successfully change thoughts, beliefs, and habits.

– Remember who you are as a person, outside of the disordered eating behavior. You are not your illness. You are a person who has had interests, hopes and dreams, beliefs and values, and relationships outside of the eating disorder. Who were you before the eating disorder began? That person still exists, though might be stifled right now by the eating disorder. A new, stronger you is waiting to be re-born when you overcome this illness.

I wish you luck in dealing with the eating disorder. I hope you decide to seek out support, even if you are not ready to give up disordered eating yet. It can be nice just to be heard and understood without needing to start taking action to change right away. You deserve to be supported wherever you are at in your journey.

You can overcome this.



Reducing High Blood Pressure Caused by Anxiety

by Lynn
(United Kingdom)

Has anyone any good tips on quick reduction of blood pressure in response to anxiety and stress? My BP rises when I know I am going to have it taken, and also during times of anxiety, which is ongoing at the moment due to a relationship breakup.

Weed kills

by Anonymous

One day I came home from basketball practice. I got a text saying, “hey, want to go hangout?”
I said yes thinking “yeah, why not? Nothing bad will happen”. Boy was I wrong. I stepped outside and the wind whistled past my ear knocking my hoods off. I continued walking all the way down to where I was meeting up with them. To my surprise they were all there waiting for me, they had what they called a “blunt and bud” and rolled it. They asked me to take a hit, and being dumb I said yes. I took the biggest hits my lungs hurt. The stupidest mistake of my life. So as we finished smoking this blunt. I had to walk home. I froze so bad I couldn’t feel my fingers. They felt like carrots I’m dead serious. I don’t know whether it was the weed or the cold, or both.

I came home ran straight to my room and cried my eyes out. I couldn’t breathe I couldn’t speak, I had to puke. I felt like complete crap. I really wished I could go back and erase it all.

I’m so depressed ever since that, man I’m never gonna touch weed again.

The WORST part is I’m a girl ugh…

Guided Imagery for Bereavement

I am new to this site and I absolutely love it. I am looking for a script which I can present at my bereavement support group. I heard one not long ago but I am having difficulties locating it. The guided imagery presented a journey to the bereaved and allowed them to visit with the loved one they have lost. Can you help assist me with this? Thank you so much!

The script you describe is not one of mine, but I do have a Relaxation for Dealing with Grief script.

I can provide you a letter of permission to use this script for your group and modify as needed – just contact me to request a letter.

If you would like a custom script, please let me know and I will write one. I have a waiting list of about 8 – 12 weeks for new scripts.

Thanks for contacting me!



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1 thought on “Coping Questions and Tips”

  1. I just purchased several mp3’s or cds and noticed my old email address was linked to paypal which doesn’t work any longer.
    Please send the confirmation to my new email address so I can begin listening to these. It is [email protected]. The old address was similar but different ([email protected])
    My name is Lynn Murdock and I just purchased these today 4/18/24 at 2:45 pm or so.
    thanks, any questions, 860 382-5845

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