I have been suffering from GAD/panic attacks and depression since I was about 13 years old, I am now 24. Throughout the years the things that trigger my anxiety have changed. I have developed rituals and a way of living that is not healthy and does not allow me to live life to its fullest potential. There is barely a day that passes where I can say that my anxiety does not affect me in a negative way. Every single day i text message with my mom and if she does not answer within a couple of minutes i literally lose my mind and think that the worst has happened to her. I start to feel numb and all the possibilities of what could have happened for her to not be responding start to play over and over in my head. I try to take deep breaths but that doesn't help, nothing ever helps.Everyone in my life calls me crazy which doesn't help anything because i do not choose to feel like this or act like i do. This is just one of the many many many many things that trigger my anxiety. There are times when anxiety consumes me to the point that i never want to get out of my bed. all i want to do is sleep because its the only time that i am safe and the only time where my mind can escape from the daily torture of anxiety and panic. Along with anxiety i go through stages where i look in the mirror and i have no idea who i am. i feel no connection to my physical body. I literally look at myself and do not recognize the person looking back at me. This only happens every so often or after coming down from a severe panic attack. Although this feeling is horrible it cant even begin to compete with the fear and terror that goes through my mind and body after a bad panic attack.
I have been to a counselor and that didn't help anything, it only made me feel stupid. the counselor yawned in my face while i was in tears telling him about the misery that i am experiencing. I don't know if i will seek counseling again.
I am also on a low dosage of an ssri and and low dosage of medication to help control panic attacks. These medicines helped at first but now I think that I may need to seek a therapist and maybe talk to my doctor about other medications.