The worst feeling in the world.
I'm a 23 year old agoraphobic. I went to the gym as usual to do my workout and once I was done with it I started heading back home.I suddenly felt a really intense fear, I couldn't breathe normally and my body was shaking uncontrollably I thought I was about to pass out so I sat down for a few minutes. I then got back up but the fear was still there, every step I took made me feel like I was going insane and that I was about to pass out because of hyperventilation or due to the fact that I was feeling weak. I managed to get a bit closer to home and I sat down again for a bit. I said to myself that I can do this since I've been in the same situation many times when walking back home from the gym. This time the panic was way more intense than any other time. I got up again and started walking again, I saw a girl waiting at the bus station, she smiled at me and said hi as I passed in front of her, I said hi back at her, but in the state I was in I couldn't do much else. I wanted to get to know her more since I'm single (always been). I then continued to walk with that intense fear still in me. my whole body was so tense and my movements were kinda robotic. I managed to arrive home and it took me about 1 hour to completely relax.Thank God my home is quite near the gym. I don't know what I would do if it was further than that. The most important thing is to not give up no matter how bad we may feel, we can beat this thing and live a happy life.
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