Stupidity= Panic

by Stephen Robinson
(Sacramento, CA)

Thats how i feel at the peak.

I'm 14. About a month ago I was completely normal. Straight A Honor student. Me and my friends decided to take the well known drug, "Ecstasy". Turns out I am one of the few people in the world that cannot properly digest man-made drugs. So I got treated at the hospital and what not. Came home 2 days later. Had the regular "Drug withdrawal" crap or whatever where my body was recovering. Well... It has been 4 weeks since then and now I am suffering from Severe Panic Attacks.

Here is what I go through:

Since I had taken the drug, At first, I assumed these panic symptoms were not Panic attacks. I thought it was a side affect from my experience. Well now i know it is a Panic Attack.

Ever since I came back from the hospital I have become overwhelmed with almost OCD symptoms. Such as checking my pulse every few minutes. To make sure I'm alive? Weird but true. I also focus on whether I'm Insane or Sane. Like if I have lost my mind because my brain has not recovered from the drug or something.

My Panic ATTACK:

Suddenly, i get REALLY dizzy and sit down. Then my heart pounds like never before. THEN, i go NUMB. Completely Numb. Either in my face or more seriously, in my whole body. But even though my heart is pounding, I feel really weak and pale as if my blood as left me. Then i notice that I cannot stop thinking about my health.
As in, am I alright? Is my heart just going to flat out stop? Will I die from this one day? Do I have a medical issue? And all these though RACE and RACE through my mind.

Then, I feel like an organism. I feel like I'm one of nature. Not literally. But I feel as if I've gone insane. My vision tricks me. I almost look around and picture myself as JUST a human with a brain that I cannot control.

This can last from 10 Mins to 1 hour.

Truly terrifying for these being my first experiences with panic attacks...

Thanks for reading my story.

Please contact me by posting comments.