Stupidity= Panic

by Stephen Robinson
(Sacramento, CA)

Thats how i feel at the peak.

Thats how i feel at the peak.

I'm 14. About a month ago I was completely normal. Straight A Honor student. Me and my friends decided to take the well known drug, "Ecstasy". Turns out I am one of the few people in the world that cannot properly digest man-made drugs. So I got treated at the hospital and what not. Came home 2 days later. Had the regular "Drug withdrawal" crap or whatever where my body was recovering. Well... It has been 4 weeks since then and now I am suffering from Severe Panic Attacks.

Here is what I go through:

Since I had taken the drug, At first, I assumed these panic symptoms were not Panic attacks. I thought it was a side affect from my experience. Well now i know it is a Panic Attack.

Ever since I came back from the hospital I have become overwhelmed with almost OCD symptoms. Such as checking my pulse every few minutes. To make sure I'm alive? Weird but true. I also focus on whether I'm Insane or Sane. Like if I have lost my mind because my brain has not recovered from the drug or something.

My Panic ATTACK:

Suddenly, i get REALLY dizzy and sit down. Then my heart pounds like never before. THEN, i go NUMB. Completely Numb. Either in my face or more seriously, in my whole body. But even though my heart is pounding, I feel really weak and pale as if my blood as left me. Then i notice that I cannot stop thinking about my health.
As in, am I alright? Is my heart just going to flat out stop? Will I die from this one day? Do I have a medical issue? And all these though RACE and RACE through my mind.

Then, I feel like an organism. I feel like I'm one of nature. Not literally. But I feel as if I've gone insane. My vision tricks me. I almost look around and picture myself as JUST a human with a brain that I cannot control.

This can last from 10 Mins to 1 hour.

Truly terrifying for these being my first experiences with panic attacks...

Thanks for reading my story.

Please contact me by posting comments.

Comments for Stupidity= Panic

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Jun 26, 2012
your okay
by: Anonymous

I had the same experience. Its partially self blame for taking the drug which is giving you anxiety what u should try is talking to someone professional and doing yoga and meditation.

Aug 07, 2012
Hang in there
by: Anonymous

My panic attacks started right after I tried that drug as well. But unlike you I had no idea what panic attacks or anxiety attacks were. So I thought I had heart problems or a disease or just thought I was dying. Ended up in the er many many times. Hang in there!

May 23, 2013
by: Anxiety Veteran

I feel your pain man, I have been plagued with panic attacks on and off since I was 16 and now i'm 30. But on and off, If im going through a tough time in life I tend to get them frequently and end up depressed and its a battle...But you're still young and you already know what caused and it and you have a grasp on the condition. You will be fine in the future and just know that certain activities aren't worth your health bro! good luck man you're still young!

Mar 07, 2014
by: Anonymous

I'm the exact same, like exactly. Although mine was with marijuana. I want to find a way to stop them because I am constantly feeling as though I am not actually real. And I feel like I am going to wake up and realise this was all just a bad drug trip.

Aug 11, 2014
Latest story
by: Anonymous

Same thing happened to me.

Took marijuanna about 3 months ago. We were sitting at a park, trying out this new bud that my cousin brought.

After taking it I started hearing this light buzzing sound, followed by what felt my heart was trying to come out of my chest. Felt light headed, dizzy, having that fear of dying all at the same time. My body started shaking uncontrollably. I remember thinking, "I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die".

The next day was worse. My body kept shaking, followed by the feeling of fear. Fearful that I was going crazy!! Like my mind had a mind of its own. Negative thoughts kept coming and coming ....thoughts that i myself never even thought of before all this. Maybe I did lol but when you have panic attack everything seems toooo over sensitive.

The thing was I had anxiety my whole life, ever since I could remember. N what triggered my anxiety was that weed I took.

Went to the doctor, she described to me what my condition was. "You have panic disorder".

Now I'm seeing a counsellor/phycologist. The doctor gave me a drug, which helped a lot.

Nov 25, 2014
Similar Experience
by: Anonymous

Same thing happened to me when I tried mushrooms when I was 17. I had a really bad experience on it (basically back to back panic for 6 hours). Afterward I kept having intense anxiety and panic. I was obsessed thinking I had some type of brain damage. In hindsight it was mostly depersonalization/derealization (the feeling when you’re kind of disconnected and in a dreamlike state). Turns out that’s a fairly common reaction to intense anxiety and panic. Good news is it gets better. I still have some issues with panic when there are major stressors in life (i.e. move, job change, loss of a loved one, etc.) However, medication and therapy have really helped. Long story short fast forward 20 years and I’ve got a masters degree, great job, happily married, etc. Panic disorder is very treatable, just stick with it and you’ll be glad you did.

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