Random intense panic attack

by Johnny
(Killeen, TX)

So I've been having "panic attacks" for a good minute... I discovered that they were very weak though, after having this last attack the other night.

I had just got done smoking a little with my brother. We were chilling for a good 10 minutes after at my driveway in my car just jamming music and talking. My tongue felt weird, and I suddenly felt an urge to throw up. Then I felt this chill up my spine and something "snapped" into me that was intense enough for me to tell myself out loud to "chill the *** out". My vision started to become slightly blurry and my head felt light, so I laid back in the car for a little. My hand and feet began to feel numb, and I felt my heart start to race. I checked my pulse just because... And that made it like 5 times worse because I realized how fast it was beating. I laid still in panic for a good 5 or 10 minutes while my brother had no idea what was happening.

Later I told him that we should go inside, so we did. At this point my legs and hands were pretty shakey, and what bothered me a lot was my right leg was really numb. It felt like it was broken. When I got into my room I can barely undress because I was in shock. I laid in bed and couldn't feel comfortable, and I thought I was gonna die. I thought a lot about calling ambulance too.

I ended up laying in bed... not moving, just thinking. I felt depressed and confused after laying for 2 hours or so. I finally got enough in me to fall asleep.

The next morning I felt even more confused and depressed. I felt like a whole new person after it happened. It was the most horrible thing I ever experienced in my whole life. Ever since then I've been doing a lot of research on panic disorder and trying to find out ways to calm myself or what might be inducing my attacks. Like I said, I've had mild attacks before (which I thought were full blown panic attacks) until the other night when I had a REAL attack. I feel like my life is going to change drastically, but I just want to return to my normal self.

I hate anxiety and everything about it. When will I get better?

-Johnny

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