Nightmarish Reality

I've had my fair share of these horrid moments of panic many people have experienced, but my worst one yet was just last night.

I was taking a nap and my brother woke me up for us to go on our daily 8 p.m. walk around the community. As soon as he woke me up I felt different. I felt as if my lower abdomen had an empty sort of feeling, then again I was menstruating so I really thought nothing of it since I believed it was another one of my usual menstrual cramps.

We went out to begin our walk and about 15 minutes into it I started feeling as if my throat was constricting and my hands were tingling. I tried to ignore it, but fear got a hold of me. 5 more minutes passed and I began to feel extremely dizzy and nauseous. A few more minutes and I just about lost it. My heart was pounding so fast I thought it would rip right out of my chest. I was sweating profusely. My throat felt dry and still constricted while my mouth was numb. I was nearly gasping for air. My legs felt like jello. I felt hot flashes passing through my body. I could barely speak, but I managed to tell my brother I wasn't feeling well. Even so, I was so frightened because we were still about 20 minutes away from our home, the only place I feel safe, so I pushed forward.

At this point I felt as if I was losing control of reality. As I was seeing the concrete sidewalk ahead of me and all the surroundings, I felt like I wasn't even there. I was so terrified I didn't want to believe it and I even thought I was going to die right then and there. As I was going through this, all the previous symptoms were still taking over my body all at once. I was so overwhelmed I even started to cry. Something that has never happened to me with my previous panic attacks.

We finally made it back home and I immediately went to my room to lie down to try and calm myself. Since I was still, I could feel how fast my heart was pumping and I got even more scared because I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

Again, I tried to calm myself down. I was able to steady my breathing and my heart rate and all other symptoms started to fade away slowly. After about and hour, I decided to take a long shower. Afterwards, I felt nearly back to normal, save for the tingling in my hands and the slight trembling through my limbs.

7 hours after the attack, and as I am typing this, I only have a slight numbness in my hands. However, I feel traumatized by the worst event that has ever happen to me. I can only fight through these moments of fear and hope for them to finally leave me alone one day.