Losing control of my insides?

by Darienne

These episodes happen very rarely, I believe I've only ever had 5-6 attacks like this but they are so bad.. I've had anxiety all my life. My mother an grandmother also have it so I've never considered it to be abnormal. It doesn't consume my life and I am a very happy person. Sometimes though...

It starts out with my head feeling extremely light. Suddenly my vision not only starts to blur, but I guess my pupils dilate to a point where I can only vaguely see my surroundings due to it being way too light. Breathing becomes difficult and I have almost no balance. Nausea will kick in shortly after these symptoms show, and my stomach will begin to twist as turn stimulating my bowels. Sometimes I have to stumble quickly to the toilet where I spend most of these episodes. My heart will race and I will SOAK myself in sweat. Looking as if I've walked a little bit in the rain. My arms will go numb and I will grasp onto consciousness. There was this one time I actually passed out and fell to the floor. As soon as I opened my eyes I had no idea where I was at or what I was doing. I didn't even know I had passed out until my boyfriend told me I had.
Like I said, I've spent a few of these episodes on the toilet. There was another time where I stumbled to the toilet and as soon as I sat down my bowels released uncontrollably while I leaned over myself and puked everywhere. They usually settle down in about 10-15 minutes but the rest of the day is spent feeling drained and scared another might hit. Sometimes I can't even leave the couch after these episodes. They drain all my strength and although they rarely happen I fear for my health and safety every time.

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