i think/thought my heart was failing
4.26am I am currently coming to the end of a panic attack, well hopefully anyway, as soon as I start feeling better I start feeling it again, lying in bed now under the covers with my phone I've been reading peoples experiences to try and get my head believing it was a panic attack, not a heart attack!
About 3am I suddenly woke up in bed, I think i'd had some sort of dream although I can't remember it. My right arm was completely numb, I must have been laying on it, so I straightened it out and waited for some feeling to come back, it seemed to take an eternity but slowly the feeling was coming back and I planned on going back to sleep. Then my left hand felt numb, then I noticed my feet felt numb,uneasy and feeling Slightly anxious, I was wondering why my arms and feet are numb when a thought entered my head, what if my heart is failing? And it can't pump the blood around my body? So the anxiety levels went up and I laid on my back moving my limbs to see how they feel, I didnt feel good, very uneasy now. So I sat up and that's when my whole upper body became consumed with this numb, squeezing feeling, I shot over to the light switch then back to the bed where I kneeled on the top of the bed holding my chest, the feeling is almost indescribable, it felt like a wave going through my upper body, a wave of numb, burning dreadful pain but not pain, and i felt a sort of pain in my left arm and as if I was going to pass out, these waves of feeling in my chest, I was convinced then that this was a heart attack, I pulled my mobile phone out from under my pillow and shouted to my boyfriend asleep beside me to wake up now! I'm having a heart attack, this is real! You need to phone an ambulance right now! Please phone an ambulance I'm having a heart attack! But he just looks at me and says I'm not, I'm just doing what I always do when I get like this, he's not calling an ambulance, but I beg, I am this is different! I dialled 999 into my phone and passed it to him, please! He just tells me to go to bed I'm fine, so I went to the kitchen and phoned 111 then answered all the questions about my address and phone number etc, and I asked what the symptoms of a heart attack are because I think I'm having one now! So I answered all her questions and she concluded that she thinks my heart is fine and gives me some tips about how to calm down but I'm not convinced! I still feel weird and my chest feels tight and my skin is burning and the tops of my arms feel heavy and my hands and feet numb, i feel, in my head that my heart must be failing, and it can't pump the blood around, the lady was lovely and talked with me, then said she would pass my number on to my doctors surgery and the on call doctor would ring me back, so i went and put the tv on in the living room and sat with my cat james and waited. I felt horrible, still convinced something is wrong but Part of me starting to feel silly and that I might be wasting people's time if there isn't anything wrong, but I still feel strange and numb and dizzy inside. The doctor phoned and said that it's very unlikely I would have a heart attack at 26 and he talked to me for ages, in which time I began to feel slightly better, and very stupid like maybe this was a panic attack, he was brilliant and said I had done the right thing, I said thank you and we said goodbye and I felt reassured knowing a doctor at my surgery is just a phone call away. I watched some more tv, and believe me I still felt strange and not right and numb in my arms and feet, and my mind still kept throwing in thoughts like, "it still could be that my heart is failing" and "what if I go to bed and it happens again" and what if I had a heart attack andwas unable to call an ambulance because of the pain and I die alone" but at least now I was trying to block those thoughts and think about something else, and was concidering going back to bed, and I still do feel ever so slightly that way, laying here in bed again under the sheets with my phone at three minutes past five am but I feel drasticly better and although I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep, it kind of helps a bit looking on the internet and reading other people's experiences and symptoms, like other people have felt the same and that I will be ok!
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