A life long anxiety disorder.

by Louise

I have suffered with anxiety from being a young child. Course back then I didn't know what it was. I first started with full blown panic attacks at age 19 (I'm 39 now) and have been on and off medication all that time. By far the worst panic attack was one afternoon when I left work, I was in a good enough mood but hadn't eaten and started feeling light headed which then in turn started making me panic. My heart started racing, I was panting for breath, I was terrified. I knew deep down it was a panic attack but it was fuelled by the fact I was on the way to pick up my 3 year old daughter from nursery and just felt completely unable to look after her. I picked her up and walked back down to the hospital where I worked, took her to a friend and told her I needed to go to the Accident and Emergency Department. Again I KNEW it was a panic attack but I wanted someone to make it stop. They put me on a monitor and ended up keeping me in overnight because my heart was racing so badly.

At the moment I am going through another phase of anxiety/panic, I can just about manage the panic attacks by deep breathing and telling myself it will pass. I am pushing through doing what I should be doing, working etc. I have started seeing a therapist, I am going to the gym which helps and avoiding alcohol as much as possible because I have definitely noticed a strong link between that and the anxiety. I think for me the worst symptoms are that deep feeling of dread and being alone and a bleak feeling and the stomach churning anxiety I feel in the morning.

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