Vacation

by Elise Helene hjertaas Hanssen
(Norway, oslo )

I was in Greece, and I was sick. Like all the time I spent there. I had a lot of panic attacks when I was there the two weeks, but one really "stood out" I guess. Here's where I had my first by the way. Last summer.

So. We were gonna have Norwegian food with the owners of the hotel. We're friends with them. And I was sick, but I was still going. I went inside, sat down, and boom. I can't even describe how it felt right there. It was awful. I wanted to die. Seriously. I couldn't sit still, and had to walk around. I went down to get my mom, but I guess she went the other way to go up to eat and I missed her. I was talking so fast, explaining it to my grandmother who sat and read a little before she was going up too. I went up again, crying, asking for my mom. One of my friends there almost panicked cause I was so scared. She yelled for one of the workers to come, but my mom finally came and joined me down. My grandparents had to take "shifts" taking care of me cause they had to eat with the hotel. I laid down on the bed and played solitaire, cause it kept my mind on something else. I tumbled around constantly and couldn't breathe right. It ended up with me having to sleep in my grandparents room cause I couldn't be with my brother. I had that panic attack all night. I tried to just fall asleep but it didn't work so I was up that entire night.

And yeah.. Everytime I get a panic attack I consider just killing myself because it's so bad

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