New years eve 2008

by Andrew

It was xmas time. I'd spent the holidays with my young family, I was off work so late nights and early mornings where the norm. I've been a worrier as long as I can remember but since my 1st child was born 4 yrs earlier the worry had intensified. New years eve came & by the time we went to meet up with the rest of the family i'd barely eaten or drank any fluids all day. My LO was at her grandmas for the evening. By 7pm I was outside the pub with my father in law and brother in law and friends. We was all having a laugh and a joke. I said something to which everybody laughed, I quickly turned to look at a friend and that was it. The whole world started to spin. My heart began to race, my fingers began to tingle. I tried to calm down but couldn't. The pub opened and my partner turned up & I felt slightly better. Once inside it began again, I felt freezing cold and my hands began to tighten up. A sugary drink helped but symptoms didn't fully subside. My hands where completely frozen solid in a gripping position. I decided enough was enough and went home. Laid down and just ached all over. The next 7/8 months I just felt low, tired and absolutely terrible. Drs seemed disinterested, told me it was anxiety. Then on August 31st 2009 the big 1 hit me. By now my 2nd daughter had been born. We went out for a drive and all the time I just felt "not right" legs like jelly and tingling arms, dry mouth. I suddenly pulled into a car park, jumped out the car and walked away so my LOs didn't have to see what was about to happen. In my mind I was about to die of heart failure. Hands tightened so much I couldn't move them and my body doubled up. My heart was beating about 200 times a minute. I was just waiting to black out. My partner had rang an ambulance by now. After what seemed like an hour (but really only a minute or 2) I realised I wasn't going to die. Ambulance appeared and they basically joked about it being a panic attack (which tbf helped) I went to hospital but left straight away. I have had minor eps since but not as major as I know my mind is stronger then my physicality. Eat well, exercise (bike riding to work has helped me immensely) sleep well, drink plenty of fluid. These steps help lots. Drs, tablets I believe don't help at all but are merely placebos. Only you can help yourself. The worst feeling since it first happened was the thought of a panic attack happening in a crowded place and feeling humiliated. Silly feeling but that's how I felt. My last minor ep was only a few weeks ago. Stood in the bank & all of a sudden I was aware of my heartbeat becoming faster & stronger. I just felt like running out of the bank. I never, I carried on as normal. Basically told the panic attack to do one & got on with my day. Panic attacks wont take over my life and its the same with everybody. Only you can stop it. Exercise, hydration & a decent night's sleep are the basics to beat panic attacks.

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