Relaxation Tips Newsletter

I'm Candi, with Inner Health Studio. Welcome to Edition 15 of Inner Health Studio Relaxation Tips.

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In This Issue....

Inner Health Studio Updates and News
New Relaxation Scripts
Tip of the Month: Is it Selfish to Take Care of Myself?

Inner Health Studio Updates and News

Feature Questions:

What is the Worst Panic Attack You Ever Had? Click here to describe your worst panic attack or read about the panic attacks others have experienced.

Does Caffeine Contribute to Anxiety? Has caffeine ever caused you to feel anxious?

New Relaxation Scripts:

Emotional Awareness Sensory Relaxation This emotional awareness relaxation is a sensory relaxation process that can allow you to become more aware of feelings based on the sensory experience of an emotion.

Wildlife Sanctuary This wildlife sanctuary relaxation script is a visualization exercise that guides you to imagine relaxing in a nature sanctuary.

Coping with Flashbacks This relaxation script is for coping with flashbacks. It can be used in the moment to help you to get through the experience and to help re-focus your mind on peaceful images.

Tip of the month: Is it Selfish to Take Care of Myself?

It can be easy to give to others - our time, efforts, care and concern, money, and other resources - but surprisingly hard to devote these resources to ourselves.

Many people say that they feel selfish if they take time for themselves, and feel guilty if they say no to others' requests. The idea that "good" people are selfless, devoted to others, and meet the needs of other people all the time, even at their own expense, is surprisingly common.

Being considerate of others, kind, and contributing positively to society are all good habits. The problem occurs when these positive actions are taken to extreme.

A story
Milda is a woman who has always made efforts to be kind and considerate. She puts others needs above her own, and never says no if a friend or family member asks for help.

Milda is also depressed.

When she was a child, she always tried to please others. As an adult, she still tries to please everyone: in her family, her job, her friendships, volunteer work, clubs... in fact, Milda has so much to do, she is feeling stressed and tense.

She hasn't been doing any of her duties as well as usual. Her job performance has suffered. Milda has been experiencing insomnia, fatigue, crying spells, and lack of appetite.

Despite the high level of stress she experiences, Milda is unable to say no when someone asks more of her. A friend from her quilting club asked Milda to organize the next quilting conference, and Milda, of course, said yes.

Faced with the task of organizing a conference with 100 people expected to attend, Milda felt overwhelmed. She felt angry and resentful that the other members of the quilting club were doing nothing to help.

Milda cleans up after everyone at home. Her son has been too late for the bus every day this week, and Milda drove him to school. Instead of eating breakfast, Milda has been drinking coffee in the car on the way to work.

At work, Milda's supervisor asked her to do an extra project. Milda had every hour of her schedule already booked, so she said that she would do the project at lunch. She had time to buy a bag of chips from the vending machine and eat at her desk as she worked.

The situation
Milda is depressed, unhappy, and resentful. She is experiencing a high level of stress. She feels taken advantage of.

The cause: Why is Milda unhappy?
Is Milda unhappy because others ask too much of her and should know better?
Or is she unhappy because she does not communicate her wants and needs, and agrees to things she needs to say "no" to?

The solution: Two possible options
Milda could continue on as she has been, and continue putting everyone else first.
Or, she could decide to make changes: saying no to some requests, taking time for herself, doing relaxation techniques, communicating honestly with others, and taking care of herself.

Consequences
Do you think that Milda is selfish if she asks for help organizing the quilting conference? Is she selfish if she tells her son that she cannot drive him to school tomorrow, and he will have to get up in time to take the bus? If she asks her boss what tasks he would like her to put aside to be able to do the extra project?

What if Milda spends an hour each day reading, an activity she really enjoys? Is this selfish?

You probably would not consider Milda selfish if she takes better care of herself and sets boundaries. You can see how her life would be less stressful, she would be more productive, and she would still be a good friend, mother, and employee. In fact, if Milda was your friend, you probably would tell her that taking care of herself is not selfish, and that it is necessary.

Ideas to consider
Are YOU any different? Do you also need to take care of yourself?

Maybe it is also okay for you to meet your own needs sometimes before you take care of the needs of others.

Everyone is Worthy of Self-Care
A website visitor contacted me with some excellent ideas about self-care, namely, relaxation. I would like to share his wise words.

He said that many people are unable to relax because "they feel guilty for not doing enough during the day, or have problems that don't have solutions (yet) or they could just be in a bad environment." He pointed out that everyone is worthy of relaxation, and said, "Relaxation is not a reward, it's an essential ingredient to healthy living much like good food, clean air, and clean water."

Relaxation is an essential component of self-care. No one can function at one's best without taking care of oneself physically and emotionally - and this includes taking time for oneself, doing relaxation regularly, setting reasonable limits, and looking after one's physical needs.

What can you do for yourself today to take good care of yourself? Even small things can contribute to quality of life. Maybe you could spend 5 minutes relaxing.... or set aside 15 minutes to go for a walk or read a book. What would you really like to do today?

By taking care of yourself you will be healthier, more productive, and happier!